Humour
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Slip-sliding On A Peel
   
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Hand Me My Thongs!
When I was a fart, thongs were somewhat different to what they are now.
As I understood it, thongs were made of steel, cast iron and brass.
I remember .....
Every day, or at least every other day, we make a fruit smoothie at mid morning. Almost without fail, these smoothies contain bananas; so, we go through about 10 or 12 bananas a week. Depending on my mood or the availability, these smoothies may also contain mango, papaya, pineapple, coconut or whatever other fresh fruit comes our way plus ice, water and the blender. Maybe also yoghurt or wheat germ.When I was a fart, thongs were somewhat different to what they are now.
As I understood it, thongs were made of steel, cast iron and brass.
I remember .....
However, banana is the usual and requisite smoothie base.
One day, after being out of bananas for an unreasonable amount of time (say 2 or 3 days), I journeyed to town for the morning farmers market. I went to my regular produce lady, Latina.
Morning darling, she greeted me as usual, Hows your woman?
Cleaning Up Your Marketing
Has your once well-organized marketing plan come to
resemble the jumble of stuff in your closet (not to mention
the garage and the .....
Almost as sweet and beautiful as you, I reply, earning a kiss and a smile.Has your once well-organized marketing plan come to
resemble the jumble of stuff in your closet (not to mention
the garage and the .....
I picked out the various fruits and veggies that either caught my attention or she told me to buy. (Shed be buying this if she were here, ya know)
Bananas? I ask. Nope. No bananas, she deadpans.
Who has bananas then? I ask, hoping that she will point me to her favorite competitor.
No bananas anywhere. She is adamant. None? I am incredulous, They are the main crop of this island. How can there be no bananas? There are always bananas.
Taint none nowhere now, she affirms.
Are you trying to tell me there are no bananas on an island that survives on its banana exports?
A WORD ABOUT "INTELLIGENT" SHOES & DUMB SOULS
Copyright The Quipping Queen 2005.
A WORD ABOUT "INTELLIGENT" SHOES & DUMB SOULS
-- Or, Boosting Your Boots' IQ ...But Still Running Around in Circles' --
By Professor Ovid Publius Hadweenzic, a latitudinarian .....
Yes, we have no bananas, she says with a wicked smile.Copyright The Quipping Queen 2005.
A WORD ABOUT "INTELLIGENT" SHOES & DUMB SOULS
-- Or, Boosting Your Boots' IQ ...But Still Running Around in Circles' --
By Professor Ovid Publius Hadweenzic, a latitudinarian .....
Harry, please save me, I think; this cannot be true; a mellow yellow flashback?
Come Mr. Tally man, tally me bananas; me tired and me want to go home he echoes, answering from almost 40 years ago. I go home, sans banana, stunned, dazed and confused.
Two days later, a neighbor shows up with 200 bananas. I hear you want some, he says.
A few days later, we are having two smoothies a day and giving away banana bread to all our neighbors; a million fruit flies hover in my kitchen and, in my dreams, there is this recurring vision of Carmen Miranda. I am a cultural refugee, caught in a forgotten Calypso tape loop or a cosmic slapstick joke.
Leslie Fieger. All rights reserved worldwide.
Leslie is the author of The DELFIN Knowledge System Trilogy: The Initiation, The Journey and The Quest plus many more success publications. He also the co-author of The End of the World with Hugh Jeffries and Alexandra's DragonFire with his daughter Ashley. Subscribe to his free and ad-free eZine at http://www.ProsperityParadigm.com or http://www.LeslieFieger.com
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